Bobbo Bucks

As your President, I will be a man of the people, and a man for the people - unlike my distinguished (some might say "extinguished") major party competitors.  As such, I am going to do something on day 1 of my administration to improve your personal economy, and in doing so, give the U.S. economy the huge boost that it needs.  I’m talking about “Bobbo Bucks”.

Here’s how it works.  As President, I will be able to appoint the Chairman of the Federal Reserve.  You might have heard of them.  They are the ones who print and issue currency.  The guy I have in mind will work with me to make this happen for you. Because we want you to live well and not have to worry about money.

This country has a lot of bills.  You have a lot of bills.  What you and the government both need is more money.  Thus, on day 1, I will appoint my good friend, Gordon Gekko, Chairman of the Federal Reserve. I'll then direct him to print and distribute bazillions of Bobbo Bucks. Each of you will get a million Bobbo Bucks to take care of your personal debt or spend as you see fit.  Small businesses will receive a million Bobbo Bucks for each person that they employ.  Federal agencies and large businesses will receive Bobbo Bucks in direct proportion to how much they support my candidacy and help me get elected.

Of course we all know how slow the federal bureaucracy is. It might take awhile to crank up the printing presses and get them to you.  Realistically, it make take 6-12 months.  That’s why, if you need the extra help quicker, I’ve come up with a way to help you.  If you want to be able to pay your debts sooner, like the day that I’m sworn in, just send me $10 by August 30th, 2024 and I’ll send you a brand new $100 Bobbo Bucks that will be as good as gold on January 20th, 2025.  This is a limited time offer, so you’d better move quickly since I’ll be printing them out on my 10 year old HP personal printer, which ain’t the quickest.

See how that works?  You send me $10 in current federal dollars and I’ll send you $100 in Bobbo Bucks.  As a smart investor, you can see what a great return on your hard earned money that is. That's why I'll be a great president - I'll be doing stuff like that all the time, just as soon as I get my hands on the levers of power. Then, all you have to do is vote for me and hope everyone else does too. 

If you need more Bobbo Bucks to pay off your college loans, buy a new car or a new home, or maybe even retire, just send more money and I’ll fix you up with 10 times that amount in Bobbo Bucks.   It’s all about power (for me) and greed for you.  Like Gordon said in the 1987 movie “Wall Street”, greed is good.  It’s OK if you’re a little greedy - it will be our secret.