Former Fictional Candidate On Our Next President

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you may remember that two years ago I launched a fictional campaign for President of the United States. It was a useful exercise: a way to define my platform and articulate how I’d run the country if elected. Because the campaign was fictional, it stayed within budget and required no fundraising, no influence-peddling, and no selling of my soul.

The outcome was predictable. I received too few votes—fictional or otherwise. Still, the exercise accomplished exactly what it was meant to do. And while today is February 2, 2026—Groundhog Day—I have no intention of repeating it.

Having now retired from fictional presidential politics, I have entered the revered role of elder statesman, a position that automatically increases the value of my opinions and qualifies me to comment freely on matters of public concern. I trust the cable networks and print media will be in touch shortly.

Today marks the beginning of what I expect to be a semi-regular feature on this blog: advice offered to voters and candidates alike. Some of it will be playful. Some of it will be deadly serious. I will not be labeling which is which. If you’re unsure, then the column is working as intended.

Whoever becomes our next President will need the wisdom, strength, and moral clarity of Abraham Lincoln to govern a nation this fractured. Healing it will not be easy. But on day one, I hope the President requests the resignations of all nine Supreme Court justices. He need not accept them—but anyone considered for appointment should face a clear, non-negotiable test.

They must commit to reversing the Supreme Court’s 2010 decision in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission—a ruling that demolished a century of campaign finance law and legalized the unlimited purchase of political power. That decision is the foundation of our current corruption: billionaires buying elections, installing compliant judges, and bending government to serve wealth instead of citizens. Truth and justice were the first casualties.

The question before us is simple: can we reclaim a democracy that has been sold to the highest bidder, one transaction at a time? I believe we can—but only through the same courage and civic responsibility that created this nation 250 years ago.

That means standing up. Getting involved. Supporting candidates who refuse dark money from PACs and Super PACs. Knocking on doors. Making calls. Writing checks. Democracy is not a spectator sport, and freedom comes with a participation requirement. This is what the founders understood. As Benjamin Franklin warned, we were given “a republic, if you can keep it.”

Whether we do is no longer a theoretical question. It’s a choice.

I’d genuinely like to hear your thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, civil discussion is the bedrock of democracy, and I hope that all such exchanges are both civil and productive. Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below, and share this post with others who appreciate both humor and thoughtful reflection about this blue marble we all share.

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